so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize