Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
