i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
