i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
