White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
no more duck duck goose at the bar
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
