5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
