I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am available for nakedness
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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