The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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