she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You pole danced in your parka.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
