i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
