At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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