VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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