he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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