Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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