i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
