How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
