Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
