Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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