I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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