I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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