Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
