It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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