so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Canadian or clown?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.