Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
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You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
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ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.