she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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