I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
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Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize