Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.