I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
