Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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