is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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