Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
