Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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