Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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