the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
