I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
