Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he fucked my hip out of place.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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