You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
