yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
