make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
