Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
