Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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