So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
