My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
