I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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