i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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