I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
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I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole