We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life