Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo. http://tfl.nu/92km
  Replies (2) Good night (980) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off. http://tfl.nu/7sly
  Replies (27) Good night (477) Bad night (3965) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that" (1-630): Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere. http://tfl.nu/8i7j
  Replies (11) Good night (883) Bad night (2577)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (6822) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down http://tfl.nu/ig2f
  Replies (8) Good night (6495) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents? (1-617): Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend http://tfl.nu/hheb
  Replies (28) Good night (3640) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me http://tfl.nu/nn6b
  Replies (28) Good night (11529) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe http://tfl.nu/yy5r
  Replies (10) Good night (1360) Bad night (4246) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went http://tfl.nu/usqw
  Replies (32) Good night (957) Bad night (6921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result. http://tfl.nu/ddxt
  Replies (2) Good night (2182) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times http://tfl.nu/jfaf
  Replies (6) Good night (2493) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?

  (817): View more from Texas

  Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole? (817): Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that. http://tfl.nu/wqpn
  Replies (1) Good night (1771) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom. http://tfl.nu/7x02
  Replies (9) Good night (2962) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again. http://tfl.nu/pqwv
  Replies (3) Good night (1314) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy http://tfl.nu/mdww
  Replies (7) Good night (378) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt

Randomize