I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind