i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
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One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.