Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk

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(571): it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk http://tfl.nu/mdkh

Replies (3) Good night (1182) Bad night (460)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick

(732): View more from New Jersey

i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.

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(732): used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick (732): i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore. http://tfl.nu/4czg

Replies (59) Good night (617) Bad night (2283)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Nah, we all need something.

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(603): Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her? (1-603): Nah, we all need something. http://tfl.nu/s7fq

Replies (24) Good night (2985) Bad night (733)
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(801): View more from Utah

You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.

(1-801): View more from Utah

There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.

(801): View more from Utah

alright see you in the morning.

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(801): You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house. (1-801): There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen. (801): alright see you in the morning. http://tfl.nu/gnes

Replies (47) Good night (18819) Bad night (849)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow

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(908): this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow http://tfl.nu/cbkl

Replies (12) Good night (675) Bad night (4367)
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(845): View more from New York

I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

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(845): I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt. http://tfl.nu/j6pk

Replies (9) Good night (617) Bad night (2485)
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(805): View more from California

I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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(805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w

Replies (24) Good night (4134) Bad night (700)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me

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(610): we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me http://tfl.nu/jltn

Replies (49) Good night (695) Bad night (6593)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.

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(337): My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night. http://tfl.nu/n564

Replies (22) Good night (5716) Bad night (741)
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(727): View more from Florida

Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"

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(727): Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore" http://tfl.nu/cs3y

Replies (16) Good night (4970) Bad night (1021)
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(310): View more from California

I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.

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(310): I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/laj1

Replies (28) Good night (1097) Bad night (7052)
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(518): View more from New York

I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.

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(518): I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice. http://tfl.nu/enx3

Replies (3) Good night (1510) Bad night (480)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.

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(717): Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself. http://tfl.nu/4nxp

Replies (10) Good night (2071) Bad night (730)
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(815): View more from Illinois

You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.

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(815): You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger. http://tfl.nu/j7zd

Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (380)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.

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(218): She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever. http://tfl.nu/8rzl

Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (398)

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