youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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