I can tuck mytits in my pants
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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