let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
