I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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