Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
