she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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