Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
