wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
