You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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