i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize