pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
