Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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