could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize