So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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